The rock band Nothing More has a song called “I’ll Be Okay.” At its simplest, this song is about pain, and finding the inner strength that we all possess.
With open hearts, despite the stakes
We take a chance on our mistakes
A brand new day, we will embrace
An open wound that heals with grace
All the fears that we will face
In this time, and in this place
When you can say, and I can say
We loved with every step we take, I’ll be okay
It’s been in my head a few times this week.
This isn’t a normal blog with numerical thoughts. Only one thing matters this week.
Adam Johnson was lost Saturday night. He died in a Sheffield, England, hospital, the result of a catastrophic injury suffered during the Nottingham Panthers-Sheffield Steelers hockey game Saturday evening, a Challenge Cup game played in front of thousands of spectators.
By now, you know the details. I will not repeat them.
UMD coach Scott Sandelin spoke Monday morning, less than 24 hours after the men’s hockey team returned from the weekend series against Cornell. If you haven’t watched, it’s worth your time. Sandelin’s emotions are clear, but he was able to express those emotions, positively reminisce about the universally-loved Johnson, and he didn’t shy away from the necessary conversations about player safety that enveloped the hockey world this week.
Sandelin returned to the podium Wednesday, no less somber as he tackled a variety of topics, including neck guards, his players’ emotions, and this weekend’s hockey games against Minnesota.
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Adam Johnson was a rarity.
If you know me, you know I don’t spend much time on recruiting. I mostly don’t get to see these players play, and back in the days where Johnson was getting recruited, players were routinely five years away from college (sometimes six!) when they actually committed.
But in the spring of 2011, everyone in northeastern Minnesota knew of Adam Johnson. He arrived at the Minnesota State Boys High School Hockey Tournament that March, bursting on the scene during a fantastic sophomore season at Hibbing.
The Bluejackets won Section 7A, then blanked Rochester Lourdes 4-0 in the Class A quarterfinals. Two days later, Hibbing matched up against Hermantown in the state semifinals. Down 4-1, Johnson scored twice to cut the Hawks’ lead to one. Then Hibbing went on a power play.
(Thank you to old friend Chris Long at KSTP-TV for unearthing this.)
Yes, Hermantown ended up winning the game 6-4. But a star was born. And later that month, Johnson committed to play his college hockey at UMD.
We waited four years, but Johnson made sure it was worth the wait. He would score 24 goals over two years at UMD, saving the best for last.
AN OVERTIME WINNER TO GO TO THE #FROZENFOUR! pic.twitter.com/2zq2XFiPGh
— NCAA Ice Hockey (@NCAAIceHockey) March 26, 2017
By now, you’ve hopefully watched this goal 100 times. Feel free to watch it 100 more.
On the ice, Johnson played the game at warp speed. His quickness and energy could turn a game on a dime.
Off the ice, Johnson was a beloved teammate, a treasured friend to so many, and an absolute joy to work with from a media perspective.
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So how does one just “move on” from something so incomprehensible?
When the rink is your sanctuary, and a tragedy like this plays out on the ice, where do you turn?
I asked UMD captain Luke Loheit about this, the topic of finding a way to move on (it feels like it’s happening quickly) from such pain. He referenced the team’s meeting on Monday, when it’s clear some very raw emotions were expressed among the group, the family that is UMD hockey.
“We talked about really enjoying being here, enjoying being at the rink, enjoying being on the ice, and lacing up our skates every day, because you never know. It was a freak accident, a tragic incident that doesn’t happen in our game a lot, but we just talked about enjoying each other. And glorifying him (Johnson) and glorifying his life through our work this week and the rest of the year. So we’re going to continue to do that. And yeah, continue to think about him with whatever we do.”
You see, not only are the UMD players trying to handle the emotions that come with such a tragic loss, but they’re also coming to grips with how the loss happened, that Adam Johnson died in the middle of a hockey game. You can label it the freakiest of freak accidents, yes, but how do you avoid thinking about it when you set foot on the ice?
“I know on Monday I got on the ice and it was the first thing I thought about for sure,” said Loheit. “But throughout the week it’s been better. The hard part is we got a big week ahead of us. It’s definitely something to think about. Like I said, and like Sandy (Sandelin) said, if you’re not thinking about that then, I don’t know. It’s hard to not think about it at first. But everyone’s going to deal with it their own way and I definitely have and other guys have. You think about it a little bit, but it goes away with time too.”
UMD women’s captain Mannon McMahon said the conversations are happening off the ice, with the goal of keeping focus on this weekend’s series against St. Thomas when they’re on the ice.
“We are having a lot of conversation off the ice just about being comfortable more so than anything right now,” she said, “making sure that we all feel safe when we do get onto the ice. But once we do get on the ice, that is our focus. It’s good to keep them separate if we can.”
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Sandelin didn’t want to predict if the NCAA would mandate neck and wrist protection, something he was has been discussed. He credits Mercyhurst coach Rick Gotkin for trying to advance the conversation last spring, but unfortunately attention on a topic like this usually requires a catastrophe.
UMD women’s coach Maura Crowell, however, was much more pointed when asked if she thought it was coming.
“I would be shocked if it didn’t,” she said. “I don’t understand the argument against. They’re uncomfortable. They don’t look cool. Nothing that really will dissuade smart people from making good decisions for the health of student athletes and athletes in general.
“I would put my money on it.”
Loheit took it a step farther, not only saying that he’s asked men’s equipment manager Chris Garner to order him additional neck protection, but he thinks it’s not just the right thing to do from a standpoint of his own safety.
Loheit: “I just think it’s something that you want to pass down to younger generations too, right? You want to be careful, you want to make sure that kids are taking care of their bodies, making sure that they’re safe out there too, so I think it would be important for us to make a statement as far as that goes.”
Speculation can be a foolish thing to engage in, but I’m of the belief — as are many others around the game — that a neck/wrist protection mandate of some description is coming soon to NCAA hockey, men’s and women’s. Might not happen until the spring of 2024, but it’s happening.
It’s unfortunate that it took this to make people talk about it, but there just isn’t a reasonable, realistic argument against it.
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We return to the rink this weekend with heavy hearts. Once the puck drops and the games start, it’s hockey, and we love hockey, and hockey can help everyone heal.
But I’d be lying if I said the games have my complete focus. It hurts to think about what happened, to think about all the people affected: Adam’s family, his fiancée, his Nottingham teammates, his UMD teammates and friends, UMD’s staff, the Sheffield players, all the fans in that arena Saturday, and so many people all over who knew Adam Johnson, even a little, and are grieving his loss.
Pregame starts a little early Friday, at around 6:25pm. Join us then for a celebration of Adam Johnson, the hockey player.
And if you have tickets for Saturday’s game in Duluth, please make sure you arrive early and don’t miss the pregame ceremony.
Hug your loved ones, and take care of each other.
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